Insufferable
by AvengerRose
Summary: Sebastian and John get together to complain about their geniuses.
1. Chapter 1

Sebastian walked down the street to the pub, muttering about ridiculous bosses and stupid geniuses. He and his boss had gotten into a fight. It was an ugly one. There had been glass everywhere and a knife had been imbedded into the wall. Jim had threatened to kill him and fire him and Sebastian had vowed that he would shoot him the next time they saw each other. Then he had left the flat. He had been more than happy when John texted him asking if he'd like a pint. He needed someone to talk to someone that wasn't a psychopath.

"Hey, John," he said when he saw his friend.

"Sebastian," John smiled as they shook hands. "You okay, mate? You look like you want to strangle someone."

"The boss and I got into a fight," he answered. "It took every ounce of self-control I had not put a bullet in his brain."

"Think of it this way: if you had, then you would be out of a job," John smiled. Sebastian laughed.

"Well, that's one way to look at it," he said. "Anyway, I should thank you for your impromptu invitation to have a drink. Gave me a reason to not go back to the flat."

"Don't mention it," John said with a wave of his hand. "To be honest, I needed to get away from Sherlock. He was being insufferable. We haven't had a case in three days and he's bored out of his mind. I had to get out of there before he became the case."

Sebastian chuckled. He took a swig of his pint and wiped his mouth.

"Enough about them," he said. "I read in the paper that you have another lady friend."

"Nah, I was just with Molly. She's a nice girl but not really into men like me," he said.

"Ah, so she's into Sherlock, is she?" Sebastian grinned into his glass. "That's rough. I remember the one time I met her when Jim was 'Jim from IT' and she had been very polite. A bit odd but polite."

"Ta," John nodded, taking a gulp. "Any lady friends in your life, mate?"

"Not in my line of work," Sebastian said, physically wincing at the thought. "A few one night stands here and there but nothing besides that. Not when you live with a bloke like Jim. Not taking any chances."

"At least you're smart enough to realize that," John sighed. "It took longer than I care to admit to learn that."

Sebastian chuckled and finished his pint, putting it down on the bar. They drank more and lost more and more of their wits. They continued on the topic of their love life and then it changed onto a topic neither remembers initiating.

"I'm pretty sure Jim forgets we're not together. I mean, when he can't sleep, he'll climb into my bed. He expects me to cook or make him tea whenever asked, gives me silly little nicknames, and the fights we have are terribly domestic," Sebastian said, resting his chin on his hand and sighing.

"Sounds like me and Sherlock," John chuckled. "The only thing he doesn't do is the nicknames. I mean, he even sends me out for the bloody milk every bloody time. It would be different if he went out and did the shopping sometimes or even came with me. It would be a whole other story then."

Sebastian chuckled and blinked rather ridiculously at John as their conversation lulled. Sebastian's phone suddenly went off and he sighed at the ridiculous ringtone. Jim had probably been messing with his phone again.

"That'll be the wife," he joked.

"Aren't you going to get that?" John asked.

"Nah. He probably just wants to know if I know where the remote is," Sebastian shrugged. "He'll be fine until I get back."

They were silent, lost in their own worlds. Almost simultaneously, they got to their feet, paid for their drinks and walked out. They hooked arms to keep each other from falling over -well, John from falling over as he was much more drunk than Sebastian- and walked down the street. They eventually found a bench to sit on and flopped onto it.

"Hey, John," Sebastian whispered. "Do you ever regret meeting Sherlock?"

John was silent as he thought, the alcohol slowing him down. He finally allowed his head to fall onto Sebastian's shoulder as he smiled.

"I could never regret meeting that great idiot."

"Good. I thought I was insane."

"We probably are insane. No one in their right mind would put up with what we do."

Sebastian laughed and nodded in agreement. They sat there for a while, watching the cars go by.

"We should probably get back to our flats," John yawned. Sebastian nodded but neither moved.

"I don't want to go back," Sebastian whined. He let his head fall on top of John's and they blinked tiredly. "Jim will be there and I can't look at him right now. I'd wring his scrawny little neck."

"Well, I don't think we should stay on this bench. Hungover us would never forgive us."

Sebastian grunted and they finally got to their feet. He heard John's teeth chattering and didn't think twice about shrugging of his coat and draping it around his shoulders. It's what he would have done for Jim. He finally got a cab and they got in.

"I'm going to regret this in the morning," John sighed as they pulled up to 221. Sebastian chuckled and grabbed his arm as he wobbled. John thanked him and walked up to the door. Sebastian leaned back and told the cabbie where to go.

He got to the flat and walked into the door. He groaned as he searched through his pockets for the key. He unlocked the door and put in the number for the alarm.

"Boss," he called as he walked into the living room. He heard faint snoring and looked down at the couch to see Jim curled up. He chuckled and gently scooped up the criminal mastermind. He should get Jim to eat more. He was as light as a feather.

He carried Jim to his room and put him on the bed. He didn't bother with putting him under the comforter as he turned and headed towards his room. He flopped onto his bed without so much as taking off his jacket and fell asleep instantly.

The next morning, he woke to a blaring headache and someone sitting on him. He opened his eyes and blinked at the blurry image of his boss. He had his arms crossed and looking positively furious.

"Where were you last night and why didn't you answer when I called you?" he demanded. Sebastian pressed a finger to his lips.

"Shhhh," he hissed. "Headache."

"You went out drinking, didn't you?" Jim shouted. "What if I had a job for you to do? What if I was in trouble?"

"I wouldn't let that happen," Sebastian yawned. "I had someone posted outside of the building."

"You what?" Jim asked, shock making him lower his voice.

"I had someone watch out for you. It was a friend of mine. I asked that whenever I leave the flat, he watches it."

"Why?"

"Because someone needs to look out for your reckless arse when I'm not around."

"Aww, Sebby, you do care," Jim grinned, hugging him tightly. "I thought you would have left me to die."

"I can't. You're my only source of income," he chuckled. "Now, can I get some aspirin or something? My head is killing me."

Jim shook his head and kept his arms around Sebastian. The sniper sighed and wrapped his arms around his boss, letting the smaller man stay on his chest. Sometimes, he didn't really care that the line between flat mates and lovers was blurred.


	2. Chapter 2

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End file.
